Thanks to everyone who has expressed well wishes. I have almost 10 years of Martha Stewart Wedding magazines (I still dream of being a wedding planner) and have started to go through them. Funny how someone who wants to be a wedding planner is having a hard time planning her own. If I could have it my way, I would elope. We'd go to the top of a mountain and just do it - get married, I mean.But, my mother would probably never speak to me again and I realize as her only daughter I have a duty to at least compromise with her. She has been through so much and has given up so much for me that the least I can do is honor her and some of her wishes.
We have already started having the discussion about the amount of people to invite. You would think I would be the one wanting more and more people. Nope. I'm the one telling her I don't want to invite that many people.
Unfortunately, I can see the anxiety building over this until we have it settled. In fact, here is my dream from last night. You tell me if I am a little stressed :) (this one isn't quite as cohesive as the drag queen dream, but hopefully it won't be too confusing)
It is the wedding day. I am trying to get ready and I feel like I only have a few minutes to do so- maybe 30. We are in somewhere like New Mexico- not a lot of trees, but some desert. We are supposed to get married at 5pm - outside. But then it starts raining. But before we even get that far, my dress is horribly ugly. It looks like a choir robe. I seem to have jeans and a long black skirt on under it and I can't figure out why. It is a 2 piece gown (if you could call it that) and the top is on backwards. No one seems to see this and won't really help me fix my outfit. I am already late to the wedding and my family is starting to come in and yell at me. I yell right back that they can just leave if they don't like it. Then, even though I have makeup on, I decide to put on more.
Then it is off to the wedding. I had thought that we were getting ready at the wedding site, but I turn out to be wrong and have to drive myself to the venue. I am not sure where it is and end up getting lost and stuck in traffic. I finally get there and everyone is waiting for me. It is 10pm and I remember asking someone if Chris was still there. Apparently he had been waiting the whole time. At this point I start to wonder where his ring is, but my friends tell me not to worry about it, Chris has them both. I am excited to get my ring because I haven't even seen it yet.
I think in the dream I skip past the whole wedding part. Now I am married and its not to Chris but to (I think her name is) DJ- the hairdresser who most recently won Shear Genius. (Yes, DJ is a girl). I am on one side of the room and she is on the other. People are filing past her and she is greeting them without me. I ask her why she started the receiving line without me and she tells me that she was supposed to. I ask her for my ring- she is wearing it on the right hand- and she won't give it to me. I catch glimpses of it, but never really get to look at it.
There was some yelling at the wedding planner in there somewhere. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Yikes. If every night is going to be like this, I am definitely going to have to have a chat with my mom.
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3 comments:
oh yes! here it comes... the 'wedding baggage'!! tee-hee, you married a girl from Bravo in your dream. :)
weird - before I got married again, I would periodically dream that it was my wedding day and I didn't actually know who I was marrying, and then when it was sprung on me I was all like, "how this get so far and where have I been?!" I would wake up freaking stressed out. those dreams, coupled with the ones of me being backstage during a play in an unfamiliar costume, not knowing any lines or cues, and the periodic ones of me running around trying to survive a tornado are a pretty clear signal that I'm feeling a tad out of control...
may I extend total empathy with the 'incorporating the wishes of others into my special day'-thing... the hardest part of the wedding process that no one talks about enough, in my opinion. my two unsolicited cents about how we tried to handle it... for the things that are most important to you, be kind but firm... people's expectations belong to them, and it's okay to not please everyone. for things you feel are a little more flexible... bend where you can? for example, at our wedding you saw the chuck wagon and all... we wanted BBQ from the get-go, but weren't sure that particular colorful choice reflected 'us'. However, my daddy and mom wanted to gift us the catering, and those guys were associates of his. in the end, we thought it was a really cool addition to our unique little wedding, and we were more than thankful for the gift.
it occurs to me to throw in that in our case we paid for a lot of our wedding expense ourselves, and I think we felt obligated to be more open to compromise in areas where our families wanted to contribute. anyhoo, good luck! if you need an ear give us a call...
I think your dreams are the most vivid and off the wall of anyone I've met! Even if it's not perfect, I know your wedding will be way better than the wedding you dreamed about, haha.
Wedding nightmares are totally common when you're stressed about things. I can't tell you how many nightmares I had about the weather or not showing up on the right day or wearing something horrible. I think you're transferred stress about not seeing the wedding ring is just a telling sign of the position your in right now. As for your mom, ultimately, she just wants you to be happy so I'm sure if she understands where you're coming from it will be fine. You can't blame her though for wanting to live a little vicariously through you. After all, it's going to be FABULOUS.
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